The Apple Tablet (iPad) Part II: "Magical Because We Say So!"

So today was the day, and as you saw in my first post about it, I was trying to go in with an open mind. I was disappointed. Again. I posed the question: Will it be a giant iPhone or a tablet running OS X with some tweaks. And it's neither.

It's a giant iPod Touch with a few tweaks. Seriously. Out of the whole hour and a half conference, I saw 2 good things. The first is that the iPad will be compatible with everything in the App Store out of the box. The second is the monthly price for 3G use with AT&T, which is $15 for 250mb and $30 for unlimited, and it's prepaid so no contract. The rest is just bad:

Ok, not all bad. It's a 9.7" multitouch screen with a 1 GHz Apple made processor in there. It's only a half-inch thick and weighs a pound and a half. Let's talk about that processor. It really allows for Google Maps or web sites to just fly. Problem: It won't make Google Maps AND websites fly! Yeah, no multitasking. What the hell kind of cell phone/laptop substitute can't do two things at once? Oh, and since iPhone OS 4.0 was rumored to make an appearance today too, I wouldn't hold my breath on getting your iPhone to multitask in the near future either.

But like iPods, it can do Youtube, even in HD. That's pretty cool. It should make my Flash videos look great! Wait a minute... what's that little plug-in error block doing? During the demo, Jobs pulled up a site with a Flash video and it couldn't do it. So again, apparently the "best web browsing experience yet" doesn't involve what really makes most sites look so great. I think Jobs thinks he's in the mid 90s when Geocities was king.

So we have a big iPod Touch, but I mentioned some OS X goodies in there too. You can do some stuff with iWorks, so make spreadsheets, essays, presentations etc. Kinda cool I guess, but there's not a chance in hell that I'm going to type something long enough to sit there and peck it out on a touchscreen of any size. And when I say sit down, it's not a metaphor. There's no realistic way you can type on that beast without a lap or table to lay it on. One could say it has to sit on TOP of a LAP or DESK. Funny, I feel like I've seen the combination of those words somewhere...

But that nice big screen will make pictures, videos, and text nice looking. In fact, Apple is going to have an Amazon and Barnes and Noble-esque online bookstore. Nice thought, but no matter how nice turning a digital page might be, it's not an e-ink screen. There's a reason that e-readers have gone with the no-backlight e-ink screen. It's not a (literal) pain to read on. So if you really want to peruse War and Peace on it, well you may need to pick up some iGlasses for it (I should trademark that name...)

But what would a product be without cool accessories? There's a few docks unveiled thus far, like the one that just props it up for picture and video viewing, and those are good. But the one with the keyboard on it just cracks me up, because it basically admits that the iPad is useless (more on that in a bit). And one that attaches a camera, because one simply cannot be put in there internally. We are totally not at that level in technology yet. But the lack of camera also makes many apps no longer compatible. Yay contradiction!

And I have to touch on the name for a few seconds. iPad? Really? Let's ignore the fact that MadTV already came out with a sketch about it as a tampon, and that "iTampon" was a top trending subject on Twitter. Let's ignore how easy periods may flow onto the iPad. When I think "pad", I think of the things dogs take a dump on inside. And the poor people of Boston will be SO confused given their accent. Hopefully there will be some way to distinguish iPod and iPad for them. Like iPod and iDon'tKnowWhatThisIsFor.

And finally, the price. There's 3 models of differing memory space in the typical 16, 32, and 64GB layout. For the WiFi only versions, you're looking at $500, $600, and $700 respectively, and they'll be available in 60 days. Want one of the 3G models? Wait an additional 30 days (that's 90 if you don't have your iCalculator handy). Oh, and add $130 to the price. Now it comes unlocked, which sounds good, but it's using the never before seen microSIM card, meaning no other carrier will know what the hell to do with it. Now I bet that it would be $1200, so why do I find the price ridiculous? Well I figured it would be something, you know, useful. But even Apple has effectively said it isn't. The ending thought that Jobs left with people was that 75 million people know how to work the iPad, that number based on iPhone and iPod Touch sales. Well if it works the same, but just has a big screen and some iWorks stuff, why in the world would I need to drop a minimum $500 for this? Anyone with an iPod Touch or iPhone that needs iWorks compatibility has a Mac to do it, you know, something made to type quickly and efficiently. And if they don't own a Mac, they have Office, which is all but infinitely more used than iWorks.

The only thing showing us how necessary or useful the iPad is is the word of Steve Jobs saying it's "magical" and "revolutionary". Well it certainly hasn't revolutionized anything, seeing as it has brought no new functionality or even changed currently existing functions, and the only thing magical about it all is the fact that Steve Jobs is able to stay on the ground with as much hot air is in that inflated head of his.

UPDATE: So I've watched a video or two of it in action, and allow me to say this: For what it does, it does it well. For what it is, it's pretty cool. But when you look at the rest of the tech world, you'll find that what it does and what it is is entirely useless to be it's own entity. Hope that clarifies it for you guys.

Time to Experience The Movies | Part II

So now we get to the part where you've decided to go see Avatar. That's great, but where are you going to watch it? Certainly not in a rickety old theater with run down equipment, right? Oh no no no, that is just not going to do. You, my friend, need to go see this on something just a little better than that.

I’m referring to how you must go see this in an IMAX certified theater. So much work was put into this movie that not seeing it in all its glory would be complete and utter disrespect to the entire movie production. And we aren’t just talking a small amount of disrespect. This is on par with don’t come back to church until you’ve atoned for all that noise you were making disrespect. But beyond that, it is that simply there is so much about this movie to absorb in all of the details that you would never fully be able to appreciate this movie otherwise. The easiest way to describe it is that it’s one of those movies that after you left, you would have never forgiven yourself had you not seen it right. To bring you up to speed, I’ve got the details on both the sights and sounds that go into making these movies shine.
For IMAX, sound is of the upmost importance. Normally film would encode the sound right into the film strips. This is very similar to what a VHS tape would do for watching a movie. The creators of IMAX saw this as wasting film space. Sound is achieved by using a separate six-channel 35mm magnetic film (the size of conventional movie film). It is synchronized to the movie during playback. Speakers are placed all over the theater to engulf you in sound. Many IMAX theaters place speakers directly behind the screen, as well as distributing the speakers around the theater to create a three-dimensional effect.

But what about that film? This is the secret to what makes these movies great. IMAX film is considerably larger than its “Academy Format” brother. If you get a chance, view a drawing of the comparison in film negative size which will show off just how much more detail can be seen. Another analogy to this would be in how much better the picture quality would be when watching something from a standard DVD or going up to a Blu-Ray disk. With the amount of detail able to be preserved, you are able to not only see such brilliant pictures, but also enjoy them in whole new ways such as in three dimensions.

With respect to Avatar, the IMAX presentation is in 3D. Normally, I wouldn’t be so quick to recommend viewing a movie in 3D because you typically will be watching a movie where the director has less imagination than a comatose squirrel and therefore resorts to creating “gimmick” effects with the technology like making stuff blow up in your face. Avatar is no such movie. It is used to fully enhance the world of Pandora, with most 3D effects taking place from the point of reference of the screen backwards. If you are lucky enough to see it on a truly enormous screen (keep reading to find out), you will genuinely feel like you are in the movie.

Now with all great things, controversy will always find its way in. With respect to screen size, not all IMAX theaters are not created equally. You see, IMAX theater construction also differs significantly from conventional theaters. The increased resolution allows the audience to be much closer to the screen; typically all rows are within one screen height. (Conventional theaters seating runs 8 to 12 screen heights) Also, the rows of seats are set at a steep angle (up to 23 degrees in some domed theaters) so that the audience is facing the screen directly. It is possible to have an existing theater renovated and upgraded to conform to standards, but that doesn’t mean that the actual screen itself you watch the film on will be modified. To placate this issue, a lot of people are wanting theaters to be up front with their screen size so that audiences will know up front what it is they will be getting. And trust me, it makes a HUGE difference.

In Orlando, a few theaters have an IMAX screen, but only one is the genuine deal in that its screen is over 6 stories tall! And since IMAX resolution is so much greater than conventional film, audiences are able to be a lot closer to the screen. I’ve already gone to see Avatar twice in it, and I plan to go again simply so I can be absorbed right back into the story. If you ever are in the Orlando area, I strongly encourage you to check out the Pointe Orlando Regal Cinemas, which has such a glorious screen. To my knowledge, the record is a screen that is 8 stories tall but it’ll involve a little road trip of sorts. It is the LG IMAX theatre in Darling Harbour, Sydney.

Hopefully that provides a little insight into the movie world. And as they say at the closing of the Great Movie Ride (at Walt Disney World), I'll see you at the movies, the stuff dreams are made of.

Why This Generation is Sadly Like the Renaissance

So I recently started classes again, and my American Military History (it's like the "Here's the stuff you actually care about" history class) professor, who's probably around 65, made mention to his ineptitude when it comes to technology, but realizes that it is a great thing that is shaping the world unlike many other people his age and younger. It was this thought and realizing how some teachers and professors that I've had throughout my schooling have required at least a certain number of printed sources on a given paper or assignment that made me think about how much of a game changer this generation is. And we haven't quite seen, in my opinion, such a radical worldwide change like this since the Great Enlightenment. Allow me to explain.

Up until about about the 14th century, most people were absolute morons. Now one can argue that we haven't much changed in that respect, let me establish that even your narrow-minded shut-in biggots would marvel at the ignorance of your Dark Age peasants. Then a few inventions and a couple of less moronic people came along and with the historical equivalent of a poof, and people started reading. And unlike today, subsequent to that reading came thoughts (thoughts other than "OMG Edward/Jacob/any other vapid character!"). People started challenging the people who read to them and analyzed what they read. The thing is, they only had what was made available for them to read, so very few texts and thoughts from around the world got to them.

Now it's not like the written word didn't move around in the last 500 years because it definitely did. But it was expensive to and took a long time to move a book from one far off place to another, and often times when copies were made, translations changed things. But the globalization of the internet changed all that, because not only has it allowed for the transport of texts of a relative few people, but it's a platform for everyone to use should they wish. No longer did we have to watch CNN and Fox and try to figure out what was bias and what was fact, we get can get it straight from the source. A great (and soon to be cliche) example is the riots the resulted from the election in Iran. The Iranian government basically cut off all media from reporting what was actually happening and forcing them to report what they wanted the outside world to hear. Normally, this would have been an effective way of keeping up appearances, but Twitter went and screwed that plan up. Because of it's ease of use and SMS integration, it was impossible for the angry Tweets to be stopped. The message of the rioters was able to spread despite a full government's best efforts.

The internet used to have this notorious reputation for being a cesspool of misinformation, but that has changed as society has embraced it as a relevant and amazing alternative to older methods of spreading both new and old information. Thanks to the work of Google, many rare and otherwise unobtainable texts are easily read through. And people are challenging what was otherwise assumed to be common knowledge. It made me realize that professors who demand printed sources are of archaic mindsets, and while the reluctance or all out refusal of the previous generations to accept new ideas is far from new, it's incredibly sad to see, considering these same people could easily Google their actions and see how it effects the progress we have the potential to make (or Bing "How to not live like a jackass)