So the other day, Cailin and I were waiting in the blazing heat for some yummy breakfast (Big ups to First Watch. Place is baller), which made us a little cranky. And when we get cranky, we start judging people. And that's when a small gaggle of stereotypically ditzy girls walk up and marvel at the line (it's a Sunday morning breakfast place, how is it this shocking?) in voices that could only be described as a bad mash-up of 80s Valley Girl mixed with the dead-pan sadness of the Hills cast. In other words, it was a sound worse than nails on a chalkboard, because I can't understand the stupidity of nails on a chalkboard. But it made me ponder upon a single, life-changing question: "How would life be if I was stupid?" And before the jokes fly in, "...any MORE stupid?" Better?
My answer came very quickly at evaluating it: Life would be much easier. Seriously, life would be a much simpler and more gratifying experience if I was a moron. And it would be a hell of a lot more fun. If I had a low IQ (not that I know what my IQ is anyway), I'd be in a constant state of wonder at the world. When you look at the world and how predictable most people in it are, it's kinda depressing. With seemingly limitless possibilities, people tend to continue to do the same thing over and over, which is the definition of insanity. That's right, I'm claiming that most of the world is insane. But if I didn't have the capacity to realize this flaw, and couldn't predict what people would do or say in given situation, I wouldn't be so bummed that these numbskulls never learned.
Some might say that being stupid would take away all foresight, which could very easily lead to unfavorable circumstances, and they are totally right. But I wouldn't know that my bad decisions would lead to overall unhappiness. So I would completely enjoy myself in the meantime. And since I would be oblivious to the fact that it was my fault, I could participate in one of America's favorite pastimes: Blaming everyone else when it's totally your fault. Seriously, the fact that I know I'm the cause of my situation can be good, but can also really suck. Sure, when life is good, I can have a sense of pride, but it would be so nice to blame people when things suck. Lost my job because I didn't show up enough? Nope, those jerks kept scheduling me during my Wii time (no dirty jokes)!
So yes, life would be much simpler and happier in the short run, but I (unfortunately) know I can't just become blonde, and ultimately, I like being a fairly intelligent individual. And I don't know what I'd do while waiting in long lines if I weren't smart enough to judge and life at other people. Maybe I'd just play with my iPhone...
Whoa now, repetition is not insanity. After all, I'm the brilliant creator of the "Friday Night's" tradition. Rather, insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. With proper ignorance, I might not even know what to expect.
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